i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
