she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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