Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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