Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
