I heard we made out
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
