Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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