Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
