What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
