Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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