You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
