U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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