Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
