I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
