I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you would pick up someone in the library
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
