He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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