They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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