My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
