Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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