He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
