i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
