We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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