I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
