At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
