hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
