It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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