Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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