i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
