PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
