I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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