she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
