I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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