so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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