Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Semen is not good for contacts.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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