Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize