So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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