So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
