Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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