fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
we should paint friendship bongs
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