I want to stick my p in your. b.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
