the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
