Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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