Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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