So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
