4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
