While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
