Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
