i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
