I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
