every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
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Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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