I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
