I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
