maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
