My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
