I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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