Christians are straight up FREAKS
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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