YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
