Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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