If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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