White coat. Heels.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
