please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
