i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
