You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
