you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
