we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
