Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Drake has all the answers
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
