So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
