The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
